Parent Discovery Resource Center
Can You Lose a Memory? A Child-Friendly Answer for Parents
By Homer Hartage
Children ask this question in many ways: “Can you lose a memory? Where does it go? Can Grandma find it again?” When a child notices that someone they love is forgetting, they often treat memory like an object—something that can be misplaced, searched for, or recovered. That’s not wrong. That’s how children make abstract ideas concrete.
If you’ve been searching for a children’s book about memory loss or wondering how to answer your child’s questions about where memories go, this guide gives you calm, simple language you can return to again and again.
“Can you lose a memory?” — A child-friendly response
Children often treat memory like an object. That’s how they make abstract ideas concrete.
Try one of these:
“Sometimes memories don’t disappear. Sometimes they’re just harder to find.”
If your child likes metaphors:
“It can be like when you know a word, but it takes a minute to remember it.”
Then return to what matters most:
“And even if a memory doesn’t show up, love can still be there.”
This helps children separate remembering from loving, which reduces fear.
“Memories may become harder to find, but love is never lost, one gentle moment at a time.”
When children ask where memories go, they are trying to make sense of something they cannot see. Simple, reassuring language helps them feel safe, even when the answer is not fully clear.
By using familiar comparisons and gentle metaphors, children begin to understand that remembering and loving are not the same thing. This separation reduces fear and brings comfort.
Stories and small rituals, like returning to a favorite book or creating a Memory Box, give children something steady to hold onto. These moments become anchors they can revisit over time.
With each conversation, children build understanding at their own pace, supported by repetition, emotional safety, and the quiet reassurance that love continues, even as memory changes.
Over time, returning to the story and adding to a Memory Box gives children a gentle, tangible way to hold onto love, helping them make sense of change while feeling safe and connected.
Homer L. Hartage
Author, Thought Leader, President & CEO
Start with small moments, not big explanations
Many parents feel pressure to find the perfect way to explain memory loss. But children don’t need a long talk filled with details. What they need is simple language, offered in many small conversations over time.
At home, this might begin with noticing what your child already sees:
A simple response is enough: “Sometimes remembering is harder for Grandma now.”
Then pause. Let your child respond—or not. Silence often means thinking.
Read the story like a conversation, not a performance
When you read The Memory Box & Charlotte’s Big Surprise at home, slow down. It’s a story that explains memory loss in a child‑friendly way, meant to be returned to.
Pause once or twice to notice feelings:
Homer L. Hartage
Author, Thought Leader, President & CEO
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1. Introduce the Memory Box gently
After reading the story once, you can introduce the Memory Box:
“A Memory Box is a place for little reminders of big love.”
A Memory Box can be any small container. What matters is what it represents: a safe place to keep memories, feelings, and reminders of connection.
2. Let the child lead the activity
Ask one open, child-centered question: “If you made a Memory Box, what would you put inside?”
At home, start with one item only:
- a drawing
- a photo
- a word written on a card
- a “song memory” (the name of a favorite song)
3. Return to the book and box as life changes
One of the most important things to remember: you don’t use this book once. Children revisit questions as they grow. You might return to the story:
- before a family visit
- after a confusing moment
- when a child asks a new question
- when emotions feel bigger than words
4. Use feelings language—without correcting feelings
As your child adds items to the Memory Box, you can help them name feelings: sad, confused, angry, warm, proud, not sure yet. You don’t need to fix or reframe those feelings. Just naming them is enough.
A Reassuring Note For Parents
Children don’t need perfect explanations. They need a steady presence. This is what makes The Memory Box & Charlotte’s Big Surprise a children’s book that supports guided adult conversations—not because it tells you what to say, but because it gives you something to return to together.
Love stays, even when remembering changes.
The story behind the work
Homer’s Story That Shaped All Other Stories
Years into Homer’s work as a professional guardian, he was assigned to an elderly woman with no close family. On paper, she was just another case number. But as Homer sat with her and listened, he noticed a small cardboard box tucked beneath her bed. Inside were a few photographs, old political flyers, handwritten recipe cards, and notes yellowed with time.
Most surprising, among this cluttered box was a financial record, her deceased husband had left an annuity, enough to care for her for the rest of her life. Alzheimer’s had nearly taken this from her.
"Please don't let me be forgotten. Care for me, remember me. This is the call of so many."
Reader Feedback
What Readers Are Saying
“I read the book “Family & Professional Guardianship” by Homer L. Hartage and found it very helpful. He explains the complicated topic of guardianship in a clear way. He used real-life examples to illustrate different scenarios. I highly recommend this book.”
Grace Michael
“After reading this book, I have a full understanding of guardianship. This book broke down the steps for me to understand what I need to do to seek guardianship, and it provided resources on how to do it. Absolutely amazing.”
Shirley Simmons
“Homer Hartage is a man who cares about people. The book is written in clear, precise language that does not require legal knowledge. Organized in a logical, easy-to-follow format with case studies. If you need information about guardianship practices in Florida, this is the book for you.”
Naomi Cooper
“A good resource for those who want to gain a better understanding of the legal and practical issues concerning guardianship in Florida. The guide is direct and well-organized, with plenty of practical advice that should be helpful to families.”
Metauser
Library
Books By Homer
My writings ensure that no life is reduced to just paperwork, no story disappears without being told, and no family is left navigating responsibility alone.
Family & Professional Guardianship
Provides useful information for individuals, families, and professional guardians, so that they can make informed decisions about the guardianship and care of their loved ones.
Guidance for Guardians
Are you navigating the fog of guardianship responsibilities? This book offers practical solutions grounded in laws and factual insights, ensuring you are never caught off guard.
The Memory Box & Charlotte’s Surprise
A heartwarming story seen through the eyes of a child, exploring the complexities of Alzheimer’s disease, family bonds, and the profound impact of memory loss on young lives.
Story Blurb
When Charlotte’s beloved grandpa no longer recognizes her face, her world crumbles. Armed with a Memory Box filled with photographs, Charlotte embarks on an emotional journey of rediscovery.
Parentification: Caregivers In Crisis
Every day, countless children step into roles meant for adults. Behind that strength lies a hidden cost: the loss of childhood, unspoken stress, and emotional wounds that can last a lifetime.
When Children Carry Adult Responsibilities
This book shines an unflinching light on the emotional and psychological weight carried by children who are forced to grow up too soon.
Where To Buy
Partner Bookstores
Homer L. Hartage’s books are available through the AgedCare Guardian website and trusted bookstore partners across the United States and internationally, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, eBay, BAM (Books-A-Million), and ThriftBooks.
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We also encourage you to shop at your neighborhood bookstore.