Parent Discovery Resource Center
Can You Lose a Memory?
A Child-Friendly Answer for Parents
By Homer Hartage
Children ask this question in many ways: “Can you lose a memory? Where does it go? Can Grandma find it again?” When a child notices that someone they love is forgetting, they often treat memory like an object—something that can be misplaced, searched for, or recovered. That’s not wrong. That’s how children make abstract ideas concrete.
If you’ve been searching for a children’s book about memory loss or wondering how to answer your child’s questions about where memories go, this guide gives you calm, simple language you can return to again and again.
“Can you lose a memory?” — A child-friendly response
Children often treat memory like an object. That’s how they make abstract ideas concrete.
Try one of these:
“Sometimes memories don’t disappear. Sometimes they’re just harder to find.”
If your child likes metaphors:
“It can be like when you know a word, but it takes a minute to remember it.”
Then return to what matters most:
“And even if a memory doesn’t show up, love can still be there.”
This helps children separate remembering from loving, which reduces fear.
Start with small moments, not big explanations
Many parents feel pressure to find the perfect way to explain memory loss. But children don’t need a long talk filled with details. What they need is simple language, offered in many small conversations over time.
At home, this might begin with noticing what your child already sees:
A simple response is enough: “Sometimes remembering is harder for Grandma now.”
Then pause. Let your child respond—or not. Silence often means thinking.
Read the story like a conversation, not a performance
When you read The Memory Box & Charlotte’s Big Surprise at home, slow down. It’s a story that explains memory loss in a child‑friendly way, meant to be returned to.
Pause once or twice to notice feelings:
The goal isn’t discussion—it’s emotional safety.
“Memories may become harder to find, but love is never lost, one gentle moment at a time.”
When children ask where memories go, they are trying to make sense of something they cannot see. Simple, reassuring language helps them feel safe, even when the answer is not fully clear.
By using familiar comparisons and gentle metaphors, children begin to understand that remembering and loving are not the same thing. This separation reduces fear and brings comfort.
Stories and small rituals, like returning to a favorite book or creating a Memory Box, give children something steady to hold onto. These moments become anchors they can revisit over time.
With each conversation, children build understanding at their own pace, supported by repetition, emotional safety, and the quiet reassurance that love continues, even as memory changes.
Over time, returning to the story and adding to a Memory Box gives children a gentle, tangible way to hold onto love, helping them make sense of change while feeling safe and connected.
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Homer L. Hartage
Author, Thought Leader, President & CEO
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1. Introduce the Memory Box gently
After reading the story once, you can introduce the Memory Box:
“A Memory Box is a place for little reminders of big love.”
A Memory Box can be any small container. What matters is what it represents: a safe place to keep memories, feelings, and reminders of connection.
3. Return to the book and box as life changes
One of the most important things to remember: you don’t use this book once. Children revisit questions as they grow. You might return to the story:
- before a family visit
- after a confusing moment
- when a child asks a new question
- when emotions feel bigger than words
2. Let the child lead the activity
Ask one open, child-centered question: “If you made a Memory Box, what would you put inside?”
At home, start with one item only:
- a drawing
- a photo
- a word written on a card
- a “song memory” (the name of a favorite song)
4. Use feelings language—without correcting feelings
As your child adds items to the Memory Box, you can help them name feelings: sad, confused, angry, warm, proud, not sure yet. You don’t need to fix or reframe those feelings. Just naming them is enough.
A Reassuring Note For Parents
Children don’t need perfect explanations. They need a steady presence. This is what makes The Memory Box & Charlotte’s Big Surprise a children’s book that supports guided adult conversations—not because it tells you what to say, but because it gives you something to return to together.
Love stays, even when remembering changes.
Homer’s Story That Shaped All Other Stories
Years into Homer’s work as a professional guardian, he was assigned to an elderly woman with no close family. On paper, she was just another case number. But as Homer sat with her and listened, he noticed a small cardboard box tucked beneath her bed. Inside were a few photographs, old political flyers, handwritten recipe cards, and notes yellowed with time.
Most surprising, among this cluttered box was a financial record, her deceased husband had left an annuity, enough to care for her for the rest of her life. Alzheimer’s had nearly taken this from her.
That rang out to Homer: “Please don’t let me be forgotten, care for me, remember me. This is the call of so many.”
Testimonials
Engulfed with despair, fear, anxiety, restless nights, and overwhelming sense of helplessness. Those feelings crippled me daily, not knowing what next steps to take, I felt like I was on a deserted island, not wanting to fail my loved one. Thankfully a family member put me in touch with Mr. Homer Hartage. All those negative feelings dissipated after having just one conversation.
Mr. Hartage gave a detailed explanation of my options, which allowed me to make informed decisions about the best options for my family. Again, thank you so much Mr. Hartage for picking up the phone to answer my questions and putting my mind at ease, thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge. Finally, thank you, sir, for your kindness. During the most stressful times in my life, you answered my call for help. May God shower you and your family with continuous blessings.
The Feacher/Blackshear Family
Honestly, if you work in healthcare and have a resident who needs a guardian I have the most amazing person, Homer Hartage. Never, EVER have I seen such love and devotion to a client in my life… it takes a lot to impress me because I have such high standards… my mind is blown. Please let him know if you should have a need for a guardian. Your client / resident truly could not be in better hands. He’s simply amazing. So refreshing to see a guardian treat their client like a loved one instead of a pay check or commodity…. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life… and I’ve been doing this a minute.
Robyn Edelstein
Owner Robyn’s Referrals
Homer Hartage is extremely passionate and dedicated to providing a service to others. I have watched Homer in action over the years. He will make sure that every measure has been taking for the safety of providing a quality service to all. His kindness along with his knowledge of delivering the best healthcare services are absolutely outstanding.
Shirley Simmons
CEO Abstract Expressionist Artist
There are not enough great things to say about Homer, feeling safe with him is made so easy. He is extremely culturally sensitive, always on time, and has your best interest at heart. He will work overtime just to make sure you and your family have everything they could ever want. Homer has become a part of my family and I feel so honoured to know him. We are glad he is our guardian.
He communicated well with the family and made sure everyone is up to date and informed. At the end of the day, he always makes the right decisions.
Leila Tiles-Lasanta
Administrative Nurse Manager
Clinical Coordinator Nurse Residency Program
Hudson Regional Hospital Secausus,NJ
Books By Homer
My writings are to ensure that no life is reduced to just paperwork, no story disappears without being told, and no family is left navigating responsibility alone.
My work resonates with caregivers, families, professionals, and anyone who believes that memory, dignity, and responsibility are essential. My book catalog includes trade and children’s books.
Partner Bookstores
You have the option to purchase the book on the AgedCare Guardian website or any of our trusted partner bookstores. Simply click below on the brand of your choice and order your copy at our partners’ online stores.
Distributed by IngramSpark and Baker & Taylor.
